April Fool’s Day always offers an avalanche of inspired (or irritating, depending on your tolerance) pranks, so we dug through the mountain to present some of our favorite Colorado-related ones.
First off, Denver International Airport’s Facebook page is featuring a picture of a suitcase packed with marshmallow Peeps, which are clearly in need of being reunited with their owner. “Hey Peeps: Someone traveling over the holiday weekend left this bag unclaimed. We’d love to connect it with its owner. Please contact email@example.com if this is yours.” The post, which had garnered more than 120 Likes as of lunchtime Monday, included such comments as “Can we bid on it if nobody claims it?”
In the music world, CU-Boulder’s resolutely indie-oriented student radio station Radio 1190 posted a particularly lovely photo of Creed singer/fantastic douchebag Scott Stapp, his hair a-blowin’ in the wind, on its Facebook page. “Listen to Radio 1190 for an all day celebration of Creed, our featured artist for today! Tune in with arms (and ears) wide open.” *shudder*
Colorado brewers have a proud, if recent, tradition of April Fool’s Day pranks (see last year’s Rocky Mountain Oyster Stout) so we weren’t surprised to see this year’s announcement from Great Divide Brewing (via Instagram) about its Muscle Yeti “enhanced milk stout,” a brew carbo-loaded with protein supplements and a terrifyingly indeterminate amount of alcohol-by-volume.
Longmont’s Oscar Blues Brewery also announced its reinvention of the glass bottle — which basically resembles a mason jar. It’s a clear dig at brewers who use bottles in general, which Oskar Blues contends is bad for the beer and the environment. “The new ‘gap cap’ package offering will not allow advantages of yesterday’s cans such as complete elimination of light, lesser levels of oxygen, infinite recyclability or portability,” Oskar Blues said in a press release, “but it will allow beer drinkers the experience of fully enjoying the light struck beer by offering greater exposure to aroma and the pint glass drinking experience.”
Possibly the edgiest one is the Denver Cruisers’ fake press release about their homeless-themed rides in the coming weeks. “Because we got so much flack (sic) this winter for merely suggesting ‘Homeless’ as a theme to vote for on FB, we decided to dedicate our entire summer in an effort to help break the barriors (sic) of intolerance and misunderstanding about this worldwide epidemic.” They go on to say that each Wednesday they’ll tackle stereotypical attitudes “frequently directed toward those without a place to hang their hats.” The themes? “What Smells Like Piss?,” “Shit-Faced on Listerine,” “Soup Kitchen: Eat Like a King,” “@#$%^ Bitch, I’m Not Crazy!” and the cake-taker, “Skid Marks & Seamen Stains,” among others.
Culinary historian and former Colorado politico Adrian Miller, who’s currently working on a history of soul food, posted his “soul food beauty products,” headlined with the message, “Get full on love while emptying your bank account!” We dare you to try the black-eyed pea shadow, cornbread cleanser, “Kansas City Wrinkle” anti-aging cream and okra shower gel. See the full list here.
If you’re looking for dry humor, check out the Arvada-based Wyndham Park News (a community newsletter) and its improbably elaborate article “MSI Selects Wyndham Park to Launch New Micro-Drone Monitoring Service.” By the time you’ve read the two-page piece, which has generated numerous calls to community manager Peggy Carpenter’s office, you realize it’s essentially about monitoring pet poop and forcing compliance with “green” initiatives via tiny flying cameras. Sample subject heading: “Doing Something About Dog Doo: DNA Tracing.” Read the full article below.
We’ll keep updating the list throughout the day, but in the meantime: what are the best Colorado-related April Fool’s Day jokes you’ve seen?